The March Continues

It's been awhile since my last post. I've been a busy little bee. I've come to find that a portion of this process is just plain old networking with people. But then again, isn't that the way the whole world seems to work?

So, I've had some concerns regarding shadowing. Doctors don't seem to be too keen on the concept of having non-medical personnel watching them work. My primary physician wasn't interested at all. He told me if I were a medical student it would be a different story. But, technically I'm not even a premedical student yet, as my wife so graciously pointed out.

I guess I'm jumping the gun a little bit. Over-eager to get started, as I've been my whole life. My wife is afraid I'm going to fizzle out on this like everything else I've attempted. I don't have anything to say to that right now. What can I say? She's got every reason to be suspicious that I'm going to drop dead on this like everything else (well, except for the Marines. They dropped me).

Anyway, I've begun the process of networking. I'm doing my best to be tactful about it. I don't want people to feel like I'm just using them to further my own personal gains, even if that IS all I'm doing. I finally spoke with a high-level admissions member at the medical school I've set my sights on attending. So far they've been nothing but helpful and willing to work with me. I had some questions regarding the Early Identification Program and not only were my questions answered, but the answer was quite prompt, considering how busy that office can be. The part that blew me away though, was the fact the woman who I had spoken with initially a week prior had remembered exactly who I was when I called back again. She even apologized for not getting back to me sooner. I nearly hit the floor. That's not something you get from people these days, let alone somebody from the admissions department of a high tier medical school!

So, the Early Identification Program will probably be a bust, unfortunately. It requires the student to maintain full-time status and to apply for consideration to the program no later then your sophomore year. Now, considering that I can only attend on a part time basis right now, I'm already out of the running. The other issue, though, is that even if the full-time stipulation wasn't there, the lines between freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior get a little blurry when you are attending on a part-time basis.

Good news, however, is that I've found a medical practice that IS willing to allow me to shadow. I'm so excited! They're my son's pediatrician. I went with my wife to my son's last checkup and simply asked if they allowed premedical students to shadow there. She was confused by the question initially because she had no idea I was interested in medicine. So, I clarified the situation and she said that for the most part she has medical students who shadow, and occasionally she has premedical students. She said that there wouldn't be a problem with me shadowing and to let them know if/when I was interested.

She seemed genuinely interested in what I was doing, as she was asking questions regarding how far along into my schooling I was and what school I was going to. I always feel a little embarrassed at this point. People ask me what I'm studying and how far into my studies I am, and I feel like if I tell them I've barely begun they don't take me seriously. I don't know why I care. I guess I've fucked up enough times that I embarrass myself.

I'll be starting my volunteering soon too, hopefully. I've decided to volunteer the majority of the time I've set aside for volunteering to the Rhode Island Hospital. There, I'll be trained as a patient advocate and I'll also be helping the medical staff to keep the patients comfortable. There's a ton of stuff you can do and I want to try it all. You get to work with cancer patients while they're going through their chemotherapy, or you can even work with children! You can work with the surgical staff to give patient's families updates on how the patient is doing. I'm looking forward to getting my hands dirty in this. Albeit time that I'm spending away from my family, I think it will pay dividends in the end.

Anyway, I think this is a good stopping point. Boy, I sure typed quite a bit today. It's been a little while since I've logged anything, so I guess I had a lot to say. Have a good night.

-Merlin

Doubt, Anticipation, and Fear

I've been researching myself to death these last few days and weeks. It seems that the deeper I dig, the deeper the rabbit hole appears to be. Is there no end to this?? I am really enjoying myself discovering all these new concepts, but I am utterly terrified by them at the same time. I question whether I have what it takes to do this. Not in terms of steele, but just intelligence. I just don't know if I'm smart enough to hang with this crowd.

I haven't even really begun, and I already feel as if I'm over my head. I'm totally overwhelmed by the wealth of information I've uncovered. But, it's not just the information that's weighing down on me, it is the mountain of work that I can't help but look up at evry so often and shiver. I'm anticipating it, but I'm dreading it all at once. How can one person possibly expect to retain the amount of information that is expected of premedical students? The MCATS really scares me. The concept of your fate as a physician hinging on two major points, your GPA and your MCATS score is utterly gut-wrenching. One false step, one single second that you let your guard down, could be the undoing of you.

But the thing that makes me grin. The concept that really makes me smile, is that I faced down odds much greater then this, and I've won. Making it into medical school requires nothing more then personal sacrifice and a lot of very, very hard work. There are some things that I've done that I wasn't even supposed to do. Things that by right, I wasn't even physically qualified to do. I beat those odds, though. I made it when everyone else said I wouldn't. I did it then, and I sure as hell can do it now. Because now I don't have to rely on subterfuge or cunning to get what I need. I just need to work really hard and put my best foot forward, even when my shoe is untied.

-Merlin

The Crowd

I've been doing a lot of surfing on medical school forums in the last week. These things are great. It's nice and somewhat comforting to know that other people out there share your concerns. However, it is also disconcerting to know how vast my competition is. But, such is life.

I've put a couple of posts up myself and they've been very helpful. So far, however, I'm getting the same impression from everyone. Concentrate on those grades, worry about mastering your medical school pre-requisites (BCMP). I can't wait to get this started. Going to school can be a bitch. But, when you go to school with an ultimate goal in mind it really makes things a little easier.

My school history sucks so far. But I've been hearing promising things about being able to come back from that sort of stuff.

-Merlin

The Professional

I spoke with my primary physician yesterday. He and I had a 20 minute long discussion regarding medical school. It was an entertaining discussion.

Essentially, he told me that this was going to be the most difficult task I've ever undertaken, and that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I'm going to have to work my ass off is basically what he said. He also told me that I shouldn't be worrying about volunteering or any of the other extra-curricular activities expected of most med students.

I think I may still do some volunteering. It's early enough that I can do a little bit at a time and get lots done. My primary also said that doctors are dogs. He said that they never stop working and the word quit isn't even in their vocabulary. That certainly sounds like my personality.

-Merlin

REQUIREMENTS!

I'm sure most of the people in the world don't have a clue as to what medical school's requirements are. I'm so sure of this because I was one of those people before a day or two ago. Admissions really does expect quite a bit out of you. If you want the education, you have to show them. Aside from the tall order of maintaining a minimum 3.6 GPA and an above-average MCATS score (which is like 33 or so), there are some other requirements that act to further filter the "heroes from the zeros" (please forgive the terrible metaphor).

Without the GPA and the MCATS, you won't even be looked at. This is what I've learned. GPA and MCATS are of prime importance. However, maintaining a volunteer career is also vitally important, as it demonstrates that you are willing to sacrifice your time for others. Apparently, clinical experience and shadowing a doctor are also very important. Medical schools want to insure that you understand what you're getting yourself into and that you're not going to beg off halfway through medical school because you realized this isn't what you wanted.

The next, and what I consider to be a little more superficial and obscure is being researched and published. You should be researched, there's no doubt about that. In medical school you will spend a good portion of your time in laboratory settings and you've got to know your way around. Being published, however, is akin to just plain showing off. If you can get published then kudos to you. My question is how the hell do you get published? I'm not a professional scientist. I don't have any experience developing advanced or even basic scientific theories and testing them. How am I supposed to publish a research paper if I can't even research?

It's very important to me that I am able to perform to the best of my abilities in all requirements, but the real quest is going to be setting myself up to perform. I'm a very competitive person by nature and I don't like to lose. So, it is my goal to be better then any pre-medical student out there by the time it's time for me to apply. Yeah, I might have a better chance of being struck by lightning then getting into Harvard, especially considering some of these requirements. But, I am going to try like hell.

-Merlin

The Day After That Fateful Day...

So, my wife and I talked about my decision to pursue medical school. I fully expected her to tell me I was completely insane and that we needed an immediate divorce. However, that was not the reaction I received.

A little background on my wife and I: we are polar opposites regarding almost any topic you could imagine except for how to raise our son (for the most part). I say black, she says white. She says up, I say down. So, when she said that she absolutely backed me up on this and she thinks I'm fully capable of getting into medical school I almost shit a brick.

I've started working out how I'm going to accomplish all of my prerequisites in a strategic fashion so that I can maximize my success rate. So far, I've figured out that I'll start volunteering now at the AIDS Project and a local place called Tap In that provides a variety of things for needy families. I'm aiming for 400 or more hours of volunteer service. God knows I've got the time.

I'm going to be attending undergraduate school part time initially. I'll go to the local Community College to knock my freshman general education requirements out and then transfer to the local state University for my main undergraduate courses, where my major will be Microbiology. I want to get some research time and experience in, and I think I'll take care of that while an undergrad. I also am supposed to do some shadowing of doctors. I haven't a clue how or when I'm going to do that. Hopefully somebody at URI will be able to hook me up at some point. Then, there is the question of GPA...oh boy. This one is the deciding factor of whether I even get looked at by medical schools. I intend on holding a minimum 3.8 GPA. My MCATS should follow suit with my GPA if I do my job right. It will be very interesting.

-Merlin

That Fateful Day

So, today is that day. The day I decided, concretely, to pursue a career in medicine. I can't believe that I'm even saying this, but in the same breath it feels and sounds "right." I've been researching and reading for two days, trying to understand what kind of mountain I'm going to be climbing. So far, it's the Olympus Monds of educational terrain (for me, at least). I've never read the acronyms GPA, MCATS, MD, PhD, and DO so many times in one hour as I have in these last few days.

As far as I can tell, this is going to be one hell of a ride. I just wonder if I'm going to be smiling, grimacing, or crying for my mommy by the end. I've got a tall order to fill considering the prospective medical schools that I can attend (based on proximity). Brown, UMass, Harvard, Boston Univeristy, Yale, and the University of Conneticut. Obviously I won't limit myself to just these schools, considering that more then half are considered Ivy League and I might as well sign up for the "Stand Around and Get Struck by Lightning" program while I'm waiting for my acceptance letters.

Anyway, I'm aware of the workload I've just requested to be dropped on my head, and I can't wait to get started!

-Merlin